3 week Update

3 weeks have gone by now.  I feel like they have gone really fast now that I look back at them.  With Radiation, it builds up for 2 weeks, and then starts to come down after the 2 weeks have gone by.  I have experienced more hearing in my left ear, and a little less ringing.  Which is good.  My hair is still falling out, but not as bad as it once was.  I did not loss all my hair, just some of it, with lots of bald spots.  The doctor said it should come back, so I am praying for that.  My eyes have changed, but not to bad.  I just feel like a need a new glasses prescription.  I thought I would wait a little bit more before I called the eye doctor office.  I sometimes just like to have a break from all of the poking. 
I have started to understand my body, and what it needs in order to manage the Chemo Pill.  I found out that drinking small amount of water throughout the day, helps me to not be as tired.  I have increased my water, and have been better at drinking, and not waiting so long in between taking drinks.  That has helped a lot.  Being out of breath has been a side affect also, and taking deep breaths a lot helps with that. 
And life of 4 young kids has gone on as normal.  My oldest daughter told me that she feels that nothing has changed.  That I am normal, and if you did not know that I had cancer, then you would not even think I did.  That made me feel better.  I am not perfect, I still sit down and rest.  I still need help with household chores, and other things.  But for the most part I feel fine.  I am not as achy as I was a few months ago.  When I met with my Oncologist a few weeks ago, he gave me a shot in my arm it tells my body to hold onto the calcium.  That has also helped.  I got a flu shot because they don't want me to get the flu, plus I get one every year, since my husband works for the school.  Protect our family anyway we can.  My Oncologist was worried about the amount of dosage on my chemo pill, so I will still have weekly blood draws.  Just to make sure my blood levels don't get low. 
I have been eating good, not much nausea.  I have tried to get more foods that help you stay healthy.  Trying not to get sick.  I just continue to go forward.
I got to go this weekend to the Temple.  My calling in my ward is Young Women Adviser for the Beehives.  I sat in on the baptisms that my daughter did, and all the youth from our ward.  It was a neat experience.  My favorite part was when I just got to sit and listen to the spirit speak to me, and answer questions that I had for a while.  I just love the Temple and the feelings I feel when I am there.  Things are more clear there, then they are when I am just at home praying.  I am so very glad for that experience.  It was just what I needed that day.  I hope if you are an endowed member of the church that you take the opportunity to go and enjoy heavenly father's spirit in his house. 
Fall is always so Beautiful!  I just love these leaves, in my small town they have been so very beautiful, and the sunsets.  Enjoy this beautiful picture of a tree in our town!!

Treatments

Treatments, Treatments, Treatments.  When I think of the word Treatments, I often think of Cancer Treatments.  However, the word Treatments means what the Doctors are going to do to help you to get better the best way they know how.
I started my Cancer Treatments about 3 weeks ago.  I started with my Radiation treatment.  I knew all the side affects of radiation and it would not fun.  They told me I would have hearing loss, and ringing in my ear. My skin would get red where they radiated me.  Hair loss where they radiated me.  Head aches, nausea, a metal taste in my mouth, vision changes, most of all being tired.  Then day 2 of me starting my radiation, I also start my Chemo pill.  The chemo pill has different side affects, a few the same as the radiation.  The most I have seen with it is just being tired, and one mouth sore.  The mouth sore is gone now, thanks to there wonderful mouth wash.  It tastes not good, but it helped heal the mouth sore.  In a way, I kind of think that this is not as bad as it was the first time.  In fact they only made me do three weeks of radiation treatments.
I told my doctor this was to easy compared to the last time, where I did 33 radiation treatments.  You make 15 feel like a piece of cake.  He told me that he gave me a higher dose for a shorter amount of time to give me a longer amount of time before it starts to grow again.  Plus there are other things out there to help with this like my chemo drug.
Radiation does not hurt when they do the treatment. I had a mask that they put on my head each day.  I had to lay still so they could radiate the same spot over and over again.  Plus line me up to the machine everyday.  They marked that mask instead of my skin, which I am very grateful for.  I did not want more medical tattoos.  They bolted the mask to the table they had me lay on.  Good thing I could handle that.  I even cut my long hair so it was not in the way.  Plus i knew that it would just fall out anyway. " In a wired pattern" my doctor told me.  Who wants long hair all over there house?  I don't.
I lived with my husbands wonderful family during my time doing radiation.  They made it so much fun for me.  I got to know them more then I ever have.  They were always coming up with fun things for me to do.  Even my sister got in on it.  She would come and visit me.  I missed my family dearly, but I fill my days with doing things with my 3 year old.  Giving her most of my attention.  She never gets that.  Time very well spent.
I learned so much during that time.  How much my family and friends really love me.  How much I can control my thinking.  What I am going through is not as bad as I think it is.  Controlling my thinking helped me to look at things positive.  I can do Hard things even if I don't want to.  I did it!!  I got through it!  Now, I am just tired, and I am trying not to over do it, which is hard.  But I can do it also, and take lots of breaks.  One of my friends came over, and said to me, "welcome to be being old.  You just got there a lot sooner then others."  We both laughed.  Laughter is so good.  It also helps.  All the prayers in my behalf has helped so much.  I don't think I would have had the strength to do what I did with out them.  It does not matter what realign you are.  Heavenly Father does hear prayers!!!  He just gets to deiced what happens in the end.  I am just looking at all of this as Heavenly perspective.  My Bishop gave a wonderful lesson on the Plan of Salvation, and I have heard it so many other times, but when he gave that lesson.  It helped me in so many ways, to understand that someday I will have a resurrected body, and be hole again.  No parts of my body missing.  Not one hair on my head will be loss.  What a beautiful promise.  I am so glad for that.  Even though I hurt from the radiation, and I am tired.  I just try to do the important things.  The things that matter the most.
As for my Chemo pill.  I have been asked when I will stop taking it.  I don't have a answer to that question.  According to the doctors, I will be on it the rest of my life.  However, I believe that it is really up to the Heavenly Father and what he wants.  That could be my life, and there could be a chance that I could have a break from it for a while.  Maybe go into remission for a time.  It just depends on what the Lord would like done.  I just leave that stuff up to him.  He is the one that is in Charge, not me.  Faith, trust, and hope are how I am getting through this.  Trust in Heavenly Father, he knows what is best for each of us.  Continuing forward.......  Taking those steps in the dark.....  To accomplish his will, whatever that may be.

Cancer Strikes again!

Cancer Strikes again!!  You heard me, I have cancer again.  Not the news I wanted to hear.  I was hoping and praying that I did not have to go through this again.  That I did not have to put my family through this again.  For some reason the Lord feels that there is something else that I need to learn.  Something that will hopefully help me grow a little more in some kind of area.  Help my family grow, and those around me grow.  I don't know why, I don't have any answers other then the Lord loves me. 
I have Metastatic Breast Cancer in my Bones.  That is what they tested from my brain surgery.  So they are assuming that the rest of the other places is the same thing.  I kind of new in the back of head that it would turn out this way.  I was hoping that it was different.  Praying for it to be different.  However it is not.  I look horrible on paper.  Just plan bad, to the point I don't even want to follow my health online anymore.  However, I don't feel that way.  Just to give you a little bit of back ground on this.  Once the Breast Cancer spreads they can only push it back.  They can't cure it.  My friend from High School died of this very thing.  She fought for 2 years and just lost her battle to it in April.  Now, I am not saying that, that is going to be my fate after 2 years.  I am just giving you an example.  I am hoping, and praying that the treatments that they are going to give me will push back the cells, so that I can stay here and help raise my babies.
Here is the plan.  I will be doing radiation again, on my head.  Starting really soon.  Monday-Friday for about 3-5 weeks depending on what my insurance will pay for.  They are hoping for 5.  In which time I have to live away from my family for the treatments and relay on extended family to help me.  So my husband can work. He is the provider of our family and has the insurance that we need.  I will deal with the side affects of radiation.  Which I am not looking forward to.  I will be also taking a chemo pill by mouth during this time.  Three weeks on, and 1 week off.  This is the nicer drug then the last ones I was on.  It just takes my cells down a little bit, then brings them back up, just not to low.  Just enough to push back those cells so, I can "hopefully" have a longer life. 
My Oncologist did say that he has a 90 year old lady on the same drug he is putting me on, and she has been on it for 3 years and is doing great.
I have spent many hours crying.  My what if's has gone through my head, and lost track of what I am doing.  Trying to decide what matters that most in my life.  Soul searching, making more time for my family.  Trying to understand the Lords plan for me.  I know that this life is but a moment in the eternities, and that Families are Forever.  That I will not go one minute before my time.  I just sometimes wish I could see into the future and say, see I made it through okay, but I can't.  I just have to rely on the Lord, and what he wants me to learn and do. 
Can I just ask one thing from all those that read this.  Please don't post you are sorry.  I don't like it when people feel sorry for me.  If you feel like there is something you can do for someone else, just do it!!  It does not have to be me.  Do a kind deed for someone else.  If you have a good thought, act on it.  Don't put it off, I know it will mean the world to someone else.  One of my cancer friends did this when she was going through her treatments.  She asked for good deeds.  It meant the world to her.  It will mean the world to me also.  Do a kind deed for some else, weather it be little or big.  The world can be a very ugly place, and that is why I ask for these kind deeds.  Let's make life Happy!!  Remember Happy Thoughts!! 
I can do Hard Things!!  I just don't always want to, but I can!!

Life

Hello,  My name is Annie.  I am a stay at home mom of 4 kidos.  I am a breast cancer survivor.  Where I went through 8 chemo treatments, double mastectomy, 33 radiation treatments.  A hysterectomy, Two Breast implant surgeries, and port placement and removal.
I found out that I have two tumors located in my body.  Which is probably more cancer.  I had brain surgery about 1 week ago to remover the tumor that had been giving me head aches, jaw pain, and vision blurriness.  I have more cells located on my spin and pelvis.  The next tumor is on my pelvis.   I wanted to keep my family and friend updated on my progress as I deal with my radiation and probably more chemo.   After I had my brain tumor removed.  The doctor told me that I would be needing to have radiation to get the rest of the cells he was unable to get.  I was not surprised by this.  I knew something else was going to happen in the way of all my problems.  Brain surgery is not anything easy.  I have had 11 surgery's now, and non of them has been very fun, but this one cause a lot of nausea.  I remember being wheeled back to my room in the ICU on the way throwing up.  Then when they took me to my next room on a different floor I did the same thing, and throwing up more.  I even got nausea when we drove home through the canyons.  To many twist and turns for me to handle that day.  I also have a cool hair cut.  They told me at the hospital that it is the most in hair cut.  I just needed to dye the ends of my hair pink and I would fit right in.  HaHaHa   Each day I feel a little better and better.  Not perfect, but better.  The swelling is going down.  I am able to do a little more, but I still need to set and rest a lot.  I have not gotten the pathology back from the surgery.  I am still just waiting to see what is in store for me next.  Doctor's can help you if you let them help you and go and seek for there help and trust in them.

The only way I have been able to get through all of this is relying on my Lord and savior.  I relied on him so much during all the cancer treatments last time.  I know I can do it again.  The book of Mormon is what I turn to when I need some peace and some uplifting.  It helps me to feel comfort, and strength to go on to the next treatment, and hope that it will all turn out the way it should.  It helps me fall asleep at night.  Along with prayer helps me to understand my body, my moods, and what I should do to help myself feel better.  We are all in these immortal bodies, and have so many trials in these bodies.  No one has the perfect bodies that has no problems.  Some of us just have more extreme problems then others.  I was watching a friend of mine a few weeks ago with her kids.  I thought I wish I was just like her, and did not have to go though this cancer stuff again.  Then I thought of my dear friend that use to live by me, and the daily things she deals with in her body.  I thought about how we all are imperfect just trying to get through this life.  Have our mortal experience that we all shouted for joy to come and do. We knew it would be hard, but we also knew it would be worth it.  So, as I deal with more medical treatments and more doctor visits I would ask for prayers. Prayers help so much.  They make it easier to get through the day.  I am so grateful for all those that have prayed for me, and have fasted for me.  I have felt those prayers.  I have felt the love all of you have offered me.  I look forward to hopefully a bright future.