Treatments, Treatments, Treatments. When I think of the word Treatments, I often think of Cancer Treatments. However, the word Treatments means what the Doctors are going to do to help you to get better the best way they know how.
I started my Cancer Treatments about 3 weeks ago. I started with my Radiation treatment. I knew all the side affects of radiation and it would not fun. They told me I would have hearing loss, and ringing in my ear. My skin would get red where they radiated me. Hair loss where they radiated me. Head aches, nausea, a metal taste in my mouth, vision changes, most of all being tired. Then day 2 of me starting my radiation, I also start my Chemo pill. The chemo pill has different side affects, a few the same as the radiation. The most I have seen with it is just being tired, and one mouth sore. The mouth sore is gone now, thanks to there wonderful mouth wash. It tastes not good, but it helped heal the mouth sore. In a way, I kind of think that this is not as bad as it was the first time. In fact they only made me do three weeks of radiation treatments.
I told my doctor this was to easy compared to the last time, where I did 33 radiation treatments. You make 15 feel like a piece of cake. He told me that he gave me a higher dose for a shorter amount of time to give me a longer amount of time before it starts to grow again. Plus there are other things out there to help with this like my chemo drug.
Radiation does not hurt when they do the treatment. I had a mask that they put on my head each day. I had to lay still so they could radiate the same spot over and over again. Plus line me up to the machine everyday. They marked that mask instead of my skin, which I am very grateful for. I did not want more medical tattoos. They bolted the mask to the table they had me lay on. Good thing I could handle that. I even cut my long hair so it was not in the way. Plus i knew that it would just fall out anyway. " In a wired pattern" my doctor told me. Who wants long hair all over there house? I don't.
I lived with my husbands wonderful family during my time doing radiation. They made it so much fun for me. I got to know them more then I ever have. They were always coming up with fun things for me to do. Even my sister got in on it. She would come and visit me. I missed my family dearly, but I fill my days with doing things with my 3 year old. Giving her most of my attention. She never gets that. Time very well spent.
I learned so much during that time. How much my family and friends really love me. How much I can control my thinking. What I am going through is not as bad as I think it is. Controlling my thinking helped me to look at things positive. I can do Hard things even if I don't want to. I did it!! I got through it! Now, I am just tired, and I am trying not to over do it, which is hard. But I can do it also, and take lots of breaks. One of my friends came over, and said to me, "welcome to be being old. You just got there a lot sooner then others." We both laughed. Laughter is so good. It also helps. All the prayers in my behalf has helped so much. I don't think I would have had the strength to do what I did with out them. It does not matter what realign you are. Heavenly Father does hear prayers!!! He just gets to deiced what happens in the end. I am just looking at all of this as Heavenly perspective. My Bishop gave a wonderful lesson on the Plan of Salvation, and I have heard it so many other times, but when he gave that lesson. It helped me in so many ways, to understand that someday I will have a resurrected body, and be hole again. No parts of my body missing. Not one hair on my head will be loss. What a beautiful promise. I am so glad for that. Even though I hurt from the radiation, and I am tired. I just try to do the important things. The things that matter the most.
As for my Chemo pill. I have been asked when I will stop taking it. I don't have a answer to that question. According to the doctors, I will be on it the rest of my life. However, I believe that it is really up to the Heavenly Father and what he wants. That could be my life, and there could be a chance that I could have a break from it for a while. Maybe go into remission for a time. It just depends on what the Lord would like done. I just leave that stuff up to him. He is the one that is in Charge, not me. Faith, trust, and hope are how I am getting through this. Trust in Heavenly Father, he knows what is best for each of us. Continuing forward....... Taking those steps in the dark..... To accomplish his will, whatever that may be.
